August 7th, 2010 On the plane home

Today went by fast. IT's hard to believe that this morning I was at the fountaing under Burnside bridge at the Saturday Market. It's weird that on THursday that same aria was used to serve others. But this morning it was full of vendors and people fulfilling their own desires. I;ll be honest, I enjoyed looking around and stuff, but my heart was pulling me towards the homeless whow ere begging on the sidelines. Last night during our debrief, Ryan said, "I'm glad to know that the work is being carried on." I totally agree. My place this week was to help those already helping the homeless and I am happy to do that.

I don't want to be another person who is 'in and out' of street kid's life. And the people who are serving now are long term. That's comforting.

I feel a lot of different things about the trip. And I'm glad that God gets glory no matter how I feel. This trip just wasn't like the last one. And I'm sure that's okay, I just need time to process it.

I already miss Jan and Gary and Judy and the camp. I miss breakfast with Jared. I pray that we were a witness to Jared and Germaine and DJ.

I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I'm a leader, but sometimes I need to let others step up. I learned that even when I have something to add, my point of view isn't always necessary to share. I learned I'm mostly despinsationalist and not completely reformed. I learned what it means to be honest with myself. I had so many good conversations with Brandon and Shawn and Ryan. I learned that God provides rest and I don't have to feel guilty for missing one quiet time if I can't keep my eyes open. And I rediscovered my enjoyment of the city of Portland. I rested in the fact that Jesus was by my side the whole time.

I don't know how this experience will transform me at home. I know it's time to step up even more as a servant and to love people where they are. I also know that it's okay to be blessed. But, where much is given, much is expected. Gary is a testament to that.

I'm ready to go spend some one on one time with my Father. I wish I would have spent more time in prayer this week. I think that was one of my downfalls. That affected me a lot.
Hopefully, it wasn't like that for the others.

Through all of my 'feelings' and 'thoughts', I know that I will never forget this trip and that God will have his way with what we did in Portland and in Battleground. I rest in that fact.

August 6th, 2010 Royal Ridges

Last night was so good. We went to Father's House and split up into groups. My group was Ed, Gavin (Ed's adopted son), Cory, Rachel and I. We walked for a while and met three guys named Chris, James and Tim. We got to pray wiht Tim, he's disabled and needs a place to stay. It was interesting.

We then went to 1st and Burnside to the feed. Every thursday a non-profit organization named Night Strike puts on a huge schindig for the homeless population. It's not just food and clothes though. it's multiple churches coming together to serve food, distribute clothes, offer resources, do hair, wash feet, and offer Biblical counsel.

IT was so amazing to be there and observe. It was a lot easier to engage. I also enjoyed getting to know Samuel the Assisstant Director of Bridgetown Ministries under which Night STrike falls.

After hanging out there for a while we went home. Emotions ran high and tempers were short. We all had a shortage of sleep. So we didn't debrief. That was kinda hard.

This morning things seemed a little tense and awkward. It was a combination of things; one being the frustration of the ball and string game. I personally was really frustrated with our team when we didn't do well with that. So we ate and left for the garden all in a weird mood.

We gardened like that for a while, all thinging. I still don't understand why I don't feel like a team. Maybe because I'm biased based on my previous experience. I'm not sure.

Nevertheless, we eventually started playing the game George and that loosened everyone up a bit.

We finished up mostly and Jan called us in for lunch. She is such a sweety. Rachel and I played piano and then I played by myself when the others went to try and ride the horses. So eventually I went down and tried to ride the horses bareback as well. It took much prompting from Ryan and BRandon, I got on a horse with Rachel. We were doing well well until Ryan accidentally snapped a branch off a tree and spooked the horse we were on. I fell quite solidly and am still in a good amount of pain in my lower back, hip, and rear. No fun.

After that we headed to Gary's house where we got to play and hang out like last time. They made us a really good dinner. I really like his wife Judy. They're so sweet.

After Gary's we drove to Portland for "Flicks on the Bricks" in the square. The movie was 16 Candles. We thought the atmosphere would be different and that there would be more homeless people. But there wasn't, so we left.

We talked for a while around the fire pit and now are either packing, sleeping or writing.

I am not going to lie. I don't know really how to feel about the trip. We did totally different things and although they were service, it didn't 'feel' like it, which I guess is okay. I am glad we got to encourage the T.Y team though and give them the week off. I'm not really sure how I feel about how our team worked together. I feel like we were divided. Maybe because of the car situation or because we weren't all staying together. God can work through anything though, so who am I to speak? I guess I'm just questioning my purpose here on this trip. What could I have done better? What should be the state of my heart right now? Did I become more like Christ?

I'm not sure.

Dear Jesus, please take me and make me yours. Work in all of our lives. Lord, I so desperately need you. I don't really know what to do. Please change all of our lives for your glory.

August 5th, 2010 Driving to Portland

Lunch with Jordan yesterday was wonderful. It turns out even people in Portland are feeling what I'm feeling. Jordan and Stacy's wisdom and joy was so encouraging. I love them.

After lunch we went to the square. We broke into groups. Ryan, Mel and Cory. Brandon, Alexis, and Marissa. Shawn, Rachel, and me. We sent the first two groups into the streets to do a scavenger hunt thing. Rachel and I had done it before so we walked around with Shawn, trying to get our bearings and looking for familiar faces. We talked about the future, Shawn's future, Jordan's future, stuff like that.

We then hung out at Powells for a while. It was so familiar and wonderful.

After Powells we ate at 'Escape from New York Pizza'. Then we drove home. We debated Calvinism vs. Armenism the whole way home. It was good conversation. We were all super tired.

This morning, well, till 1 ish, we worked in the garden. I got to talk to Jan (the house mom) for a while, it was really cool. When we were done when ate at Subway and went home.

None of us showered last night, so we have 2 days of garden filth on us. We couldn't shower and had to play the ball and string game. (Here is Rachel's description of it. I'm quoting her's because it's a great description.

It's basically a team building exercise where dozens of strings are attached to a pvc pipe on top of which sits a wiffle ball. The goal is for everyone to hold the end of the strings (they're like 5 feet long) and get through an obstacle course without dropping the ball.

It's one of the most frustrating game in the world.)

The people who had played before couldn't talk. It was so hard. So frustrating. We didn't really work as a team at first. We got better, but it was still frustrating. We played for 3 hours, or like 2 and a half. So we wasted our shower time. But we left for Micky D's and now we are going to Father's house. I'll write later.

Jesus please give us courage and wisdom and discernment. Help us to glorify and love your more. Please give our team unity.

August 4th, 2010 Driving to Lunch

This morning has been good. God has been teaching me to listen instead of speak. I don't know why I have been having a hard time with that.

We ate breakfast and the camp. Rachel and I sat with Jared. It was so cool to hear his story. And he thanked me for asking him. He got kicked out of his house when drugs took over. But he had given his life to Christ when he was young. Anyways he had an apartment and job but eventually the drugs took over. So he was on the streets for like 6 months. Then he got involved in a halfway house at another church. He worked his way up to almost being the head of the house.

But, it was a house full of 40 year olds. And he didn't feel ready or equipped to do that. So he prayed for God to bring him an opportunity to get experience to do something like that. And next thing he knew, he got hooked up with Transitional Youth and the Home on the Range program. (If you click the 'watch' link on the TY website, he's the one in the wearing the beanie. Germaine is the one with a hat and curly hair).

Jared is super sweet. I look into his eyes and I don't see the streets, I see joy.

After breakfast we headed to the halfway house and worked in the garden. I really enjoyed it. And I really enjoyed getting to know Mallory, the girl leader on our team.

When we called Jordan Young he was cool with meeting for lunch today, so that's what we're going to do now.

Also, Brandon tried to ride a horse at the house (they have two pretty horses). He fell off, it was funny.

Lord, please give us strength and humility to continue to do your work. Be glorified in us.

August 3rd, 2010 Back at Royal Ridges

After we found a parking spot in Portland, we walked around trying to find a place to eat. We ended up at Violettas, a gourmet "slow fast food" place. It was good food.

After that, we walked back to the square and just hung around for like 45 minutes. We people watched and prayer walked and observed. It was heart breaking. I wanted to pray for everything, but I didn't feel like I had words. So after a while, I just sat and watched the people around me.

We got lost on the way home, because of me. But we're safe and sound at camp again. Debriefing soon.

Goodnight.

August 3rd, 2010 Sitting in the Square

Do the people who live in Portland or the greater Portland area know that there is an abnormal amount of brokenness and homelessness in their area? Why is this going unnoticed?

Jesus open our hearts to see and love. Open their hearts to you.

August 3rd, Driving to Portland

Today was rough and good of course. We had breakfast with the campers at Royal Ridges and then met with Ron the Director of Royal Ridges. He told us about the camp and about DJ, Germaine, and Jared. Germaine and Jared are in the Transitional Youth videos. (Check the website). I really like them. They are all really sweet. :) DJ can make a really good Chewbaca sound and Jared can make a good Chewbaca drowning sound. haha.

Anyways, Ron needed us to cut out Tanzi flowers from the side of this field/hill thing. It was so pretty in the morning with the clouds and stuff. The work was not fun, especially when the sun came out. We just had to cut Tanzi flowers off the stem and throw them into big trash bags. The problem was the 4ft tall grass/marsh that is home to many spiders, bees, and other fun bugs that I don't want on me. And don't forget the ants that were prone to crawling up my pants and biting me. Oh and the two ft deep holes that were covered by grass until I stepped in them.

Needless to say, it was not the funnest thing I've ever done. But now the staff doesn't have to do as much at all. It was a challenge to all I said in the last journal entry. But, I'm really glad we did it.

After 12 we ate lunch then went back out. And at 3 we stopped for good. We then went and got ice cream from the camp snack shop. Then we played on their giant swing. It was fun. After that we played on this huge wooden teter totter and tried to balance different people on it using different strategies. It was good, but I need to work on not always being a leader. It's so easy for me to step into that role. But, hopefully it will be easier to step back when I won't be able to talk for the team building games we're gonna play. We'll see how it goes.

This has definitely pushed me. I need to remember to keep in constant communication with God. I didn't do that today and it totally affected me.

Now we're driving to Portland. I don't know what we'll be doing. We weren't allowed to clean up though.

Dear Jesus, please capture our hearts on this trip and help us to keep our focus on you. We want to serve you with everything.